The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize