Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
