You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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