Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
