I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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