where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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