You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
