The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize