Her vagina should come with caution tape.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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