I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize