thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
