nut hugger
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
