Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize