You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
