Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Randomize
