ya dads aren't the best wingmen
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
