69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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