Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize