Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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