chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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