Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Naked. naked and bneed help.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
