at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
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