But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
