No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
