Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
