My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
