I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
