none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
