I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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