She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
