There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
