It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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