Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
