Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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