why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
