So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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