why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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