Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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