Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
