Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
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