it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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