I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
