I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
