it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
