This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
