If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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