Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize