Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
