my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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