Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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