you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
The adults are the big ones right?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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