hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
