I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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