This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
