Are we in a gay sports bar?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
True strength comes from lack of pants
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
