So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
