Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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