just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
