she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
