Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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