I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
